Time and chances

So here is the thing. Actually from my point of view “there is not so very much difference in the intelligence of people after all. The great man is not so great as folks think, and the dull man is not quite so stupid as he seems. The difference in our estimates of men lies in the fact that one individual is able to get his goods into the show-window, and the other is not aware that he has any show-window or any goods. So basicly everyone has the ability to do anything. Matter of fact, vast majority of men know a thousand times as much as they are aware of. Far down in the silent depths of subconsciousness lie myriads of truths, each awaiting a time when its owner shall call it. To utilize these thoughts, you must express them to others; and to be able to express them well your soul has to soar into this subconscious realm. In other words, you must “come out”—get out of yourself—away from self-consciousness, into the region of partial oblivion—away from the boundaries of time and the limitations of space. The great painter forgets all in the presence of his canvas; the writer is oblivious to his sorrounding, “the singer floats away on the wings of melody (and carries the audience with her); the orator pours out his soul for an hour, and it seems to him as if barely five minutes had passed, so rapt is he in his exalted theme. When you reach the heights of sublimity and are expressing your highest and best, you are in a partial trance condition. And all men who enter this condition surprise themselves by the quantity of knowledge and the extent of insight they possess. Well for this, I advice you to surprise your self. Because I think people loose their ability to surprise their self. Mind is a dual affair—objective and subjective. The objective mind sees all, hears all, reasons things out. The subjective mind stores up and only gives out when the objective mind sleeps. But only a few men try to break the boundaries of self- conscious. They are always self-conscious.”You sing well,” said the master, impatiently, to his best pupil, “but you will never sing divinely until you have given your all for love, and then been neglected and rejected, and scorned and beaten, and left for dead. Then, if you do not exactly die, you will come back, and when the world hears your “voice it will mistake you for an angel and fall at your feet. And the moral is, that as long as you are satisfied and comfortable, you use only the objective mind and live in the world of sense. But let love be torn from your grasp and flee as a shadow—living only as a memory in a haunting sense of loss; let death come and the sky shut down over less worth in the world; or stupid misunderstanding and crushing defeat grind you into the dust, then you may arise, forgetting time and space and self, and take refuge in mansions not made with hands; and find a certain sad, sweet satisfaction in the contemplation of treasures stored up where moth and rust do not corrupt, and where thieves do not break through and steal. “And thus looking out into the Eternal, you’ll entirely forget the present and go forth into the Land of Subconsciousness—the Land of Spirit, the new better earth in the eternal.


Life after graduation

Three years ago I was a very recent graduate with little idea about what I wanted to do post collage. After being a student for 22 years of my life, on Desember 2014, I graduate from my collage in Institute of Risk Manajement and Insurance. I really confuse with the option to chose between the notion of doing what I loved or trying to make the highest salary posible. The problem was , I didn’t know what I loved. I hadn’t manage to consider how I would define success in the world . I had always challenge myself to relay my point of view and trying something.
And then on March 2015 I started working at Insurance Company entry-level job.At first, I planed to absord as much as the knowledge as well as experience from this company.I would try my best to do well within my given office setting, but nothing I tried held my fascination when I was off the clock. In my office hours I found my self returning to the same daily activity everyday. This is contrary with what I want.

My daily activity in my office be like worked non-stop around the clock. And the events after work or during lunch left, very little time for anything outside of work at all. Work was work . Show up, clock in. Don’t ask question. Do work. Get paid.
Before making any decisions, I decided to ask my friends from the other company but same industry, if they were happy ? And I get conclution that there will be always dark side from all of all company. It’s called employee life. I think their not happy but they have to survive to get an income every month just like me.
From my very non-scientific research, I decided that this stress and workload was not short-term. So I decide to quit from this industry. 
I don’t regret my time working in insurance company because I never would’ve been so grateful for my job now. I’m truly enormously grateful for my job. In general, I’m not one to say “no regrets” in life – I have regrets (and that’s okay). But this job is not one of my regrets. I went to insurance collage , working in insurance industry and, I figured out that it wasn’t for me. but I’m glad I took the job. But, I’m also glad I quit.
A lot of people tell me that quitting was courageous, but I disagree – for me, quitting was the only option to pursue a happy life.